Midnight Thought

We live in this small world. Social media has taken big portion of our lives. Social media or should I say anti-social media. I probably one of the those people who take advantage of this platform for the fact I live somewhere around the globe and have friends scatter all over the place, but yet there is a say "social media makes the far one close and the close one far."

It's sad, isn't it? When we constantly have to prove or show people we're happy. Who does ask us to do so? Who does want to know what we eat, what we wear, what our mood and where we go for holiday? It looks depressing, trying so hard to show people who we are, what we like and what we feel. Do those people even care? Some probably do or else why do we even do that, right? Or the more depressing thing is stalking other people's activities and then what happen? Pity ourselves for not having what other people have, for not eating what other people eat, for not wearing what other people wear. What does this lead to? It's either showing off or be jealous. Which side are you on?

Not to mention narcissism. Being grateful for our flawless face, sure we are. But showing it to the whole world to know every second and every angle, is it necessary? Probably is or else again why would we do that in the first place?

Somehow, this is the life we are creating. Excellent isn't it? How tiring it is to keep up. Circle of life in the touch of our finger tip. We can watch and see anything we want, yet in the end wonder what does that make us feel? It feels like competition, everyday life battle.

When was the last time we sit down with our friends? How long did we see our friends for? And how long was our hands away from our phone for the entire time? Be honest. And this simple question says it all "can we live without our phone?" For a day probably, most people will find that challenging.

Anyway, this phenomena is happening. We experience this because of the big exposure to what-so-called social media. Just thought I can give a thought about this interesting life. There will be interesting outcome from this interesting life, for sure.

-vc-

27

What is birthday? For me, it's just another day. It's the same Sunday, nothing's special except I got to blow candle on cake and got a day off from work.

Thanks to Mom who has ordered yummy "lapis surabaya" cake. I woke up this morning, had shower and saw her in the dining room. (her ritual for her daughters birthday: waited for us to wake up and blow the candle) Before blowing the candle, of course I made a wish. I remember making wishes on my previous birthday, pretty much the same ones for the past two years. And I can see it now on 27, some wishes do come true. 27 is looking good. Finally I got to see my life is coming together.

It's not an easy ride but the best is yet to come. I have found positiveness in my life, thanks to someone who is on holiday in China at the moment. Lots of things can make me sad and pull me in to the negative side but I have more things to be grateful of and someone who keeps me on the positive side.

Birthday is not about how many greetings I get, fancy pictures I posted to show people my great birthday, it's about family and friends who spend time sending me lovely messages, showing me their care and love. I am grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for all your love, all ears and shoulders you've spared when I needed. I've got the best present in my life.

<3<3<3 xxx

-vc-

Yellow

Beautiful day, peaceful night. Blue sea along white-sand beach, clear sky full of stars. Rainbow beach, you are a beauty.

Ticking off some boxes from my bucket list, went for camping, built tent, started bonfire and ate roasted marshmallows. A perfect getaway.

With a little help, I've ticked some things off. It's still gonna grow, I will have some more things on my list of course, but right now, I am happy. It is enough to just finish this.

Somehow I am not worrying about the future. The present makes me happy and I just want to live in the moment. I want to make the most of it. Enjoy it while I can.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. All I know and I want is described in this quote:

"Take a vacation. Go as many places as you can. You can always make money. You can't always make memories."

Got to do what I got to do. Choose to be happy!

-vc-

Words

It only takes one person to say the right thing. It could be someone around you, and it could be yourself. Your state of mind.

I might not have billions of dollars in my bank account, but I have enough to live.
I might not have the best job in the world (yet), but I have a job.
I might not have hundreds of friends, but I do have some who care.
I might not have the greatest life, but I am amazed for what I've been through which has made me who I am and has taken me where I am now.
I might not have everything I've asked for in life, but I have things I need, a sufficient life.

Only takes one right person to say right thing on the right time, that makes me realized I've been on the negative side this whole time and that I could change my perspective and side to be positive. He has pulled me to the positive side. I don't grow up with compliment, but I have realized the power of it. The power of words. Too many people have so much faith in me, I have to return the favor. I got to have faith in myself too.

I choose to be happy from now on because happiness is a choice. When life gets tough, push through and never give up. There will always be a reason to be sad but I choose to be happy. I will be just fine, because all is well. It's about time. All I need is doing things that make me happy, ticking off my bucket list!!

-vc-

Instancy vs Insanity

The fast paced life demands full on speed which leads to instant life style. If I could sit back and see everything around me which I could and I am doing it right now, I can see clearly how my life is a product of instancy. When was the last time I can sit back and relax without being rushed? I go for dinner in the restaurant, try to enjoy good meal, great company and time off from busy life, but at the end they will rush me up course by course then bill me so I get out from the restaurant!! Even when I am enjoying my time somewhere cozy, I will always get distracted by emails, all updates from my social media. When? When really exactly I can breath free from any distractions and just let my mind rest? Except when I sleep maybe even so sometimes text messages or calls wake me up in the middle of the night.

At the end, I ask myself, what do I want? Is all this worth it? All the instancy don't take me anywhere except to the insanity. I cannot sit down and relax for a bit, it drives me nuts eventually. It already shows its toll on me because I am mad! I get cranky and crazy if something doesn't happen. I want everything fast, in instance, so if it takes time, it irritates me. If the process takes more time than what I already set, it annoys me.

Obviously, these past years aren't really the time of my life but well, I've learned a lot, I hope I have. Don't get me wrong, maybe I am the most ungrateful person in the world. I am grateful though, really grateful for what I have and have done. But to keep experiencing this for almost five years which don't get me anywhere, it's beyond frustrating. I wish I could see a little light at the end of the tunnel, but I cannot see anything that is why I am in my corner right now, wishing and convincing myself that "All is well" for gazillion times, hope the mantra will work eventually. But for now, it's dark, so dark. The mystery that needs to be unveiled sooner or later. All I need is a chance but it seems that's the only thing I cannot have, it seems I will never get what I want, hope I'm wrong.

#storyofmylife #midlifecrisis #miserable

-vc-

Wrong to Right, What is Left?

How can you say someone is your best friend when you completely know nothing about him/her?

And after all I have been looking at wrong direction. Ask why? Let us go through the story.

I know that life goes on, everybody move on. They have their own life, have partner and family. So I've realized that my holiday was going to be a total alone time for me to travel and visit my family. I was still on denial phase when I arrived but then after I have been through the time I have spent at home then I finally sink in to the fact and I should've moved on too. I cannot force it, I have been fighting for it and that was not happening at all, been struggling long enough to make time for those people who do not even want to spend time with me. And then I realized, I have been looking at wrong direction, how was that so? Because the one who care and want to spend time with me was there the whole time. I am sorry. I know that is just sad but I have learned in the rough way.

"Treat people the way you want to be treated." And as I have quoted too, "True friends are the best gift." I know I have taken for granted some of my true friends, my best friends, I did not even make enough time for you when I could and I am sorry for that.

We make sacrifices and efforts to make things right. Hopefully, my efforts are enough to show that I do care. It is easier to get but hard to maintain something and I have to admit that I am not good at all at maintaining. It is not even easy to find friends who can go through bad times with you so it will be even harder to maintain them. Sometimes, all you need is just that little step to ask how are you to make someone's day. That little something that we do everyday make a difference.

This is dedicated to you, you-know-who-you-are. Thank you for everything. Thank you for spending time with me and for always be there for me when I need you. I owe you big time.

#friendshipneverends

-vc-

It's on Our Backyard!

How long I haven't been away? Not that long, almost a year. Usually, I use my time off going back to my home country which is Indonesia. I rarely just stay in Jakarta (my hometown) but I often travel to different places. I used to go overseas (Southeast Asia) but this time I've decided to go local.

As Indonesian, I barely travel around Indonesia, maybe some cities like Bali, Bandung or Palembang (my mom's hometown) but that was all nowhere else. So every time friends ask me where to go in Indonesia, I only can recommend Bali (lame!). That is one of the reason why I went local for my holiday on 2013.

At first I was planning to go to Bunaken, Sulawesi. I love beach and always want to dive (need license unfortunately). But one of my friend said Bunaken is not that great anymore. Wonder why? Typical! We'll get to that along this story. So we decided to go to Kalimantan. Apparently there is one travel (Kakaban Trip) which has been exploring East Indonesia which includes Kalimantan. So then we went with this travel. Our package was hopping islands. We stayed in Maratua Island then we were hopping to Derawan, Sangalaki, Kakaban and Nabucco island.

I haven't heard of these islands before so I didn't have any expectation, all I want was having fun with my friends and enjoying the sun. But beyond all that, I was amazed with what I saw. Crystal clear blue water, fish, coral, turtle and beautiful beach greeted us (that's the best 'red carpet' ever), then we went to our room which was a water villa (imagine Bora-bora). Damn! I don't know Indonesia can be this beautiful. Why would I spend lots of money and make other country rich? While I have it in my own country with cheaper price! It's on our own backyard! Unbelievable! I can see different kind of fish, coral, jellyfish and also turtle. I'm in love with turtle! I saw big and held little turtle. So cool! Like everyone said "Heaven on Earth."

And I was surprised because there were some tourist as well from France. They know this place??! I'm embarrassed. Oh well, at least now I know and I'm proud to tell the world about this place. But dilemma strikes me. I really want to tell everyone about this amazing place but are the people ready to take care of this place while they're having fun? It's kind of sad seeing people traveling to great spots just to ruin them then move on to another spots like what happened to Bali, Bunaken and many more spots in Indonesia. Can't we go to those great spots, take care of them so that other people can enjoy them as well instead of moving on to other spots? These people, I'm talking about here are all people who visit, travel or live around the area. Honestly, I'm not ready to see these beautiful places ruin by crap from irresponsible people. Anyway, I can only wish they could care more about the environment. And specifically for locals, after all these places belong to us, treat them like we're the owner. It's our own backyard!

-vc-