Lesson from the Loneliness

"You are who you are when you are alone."

I am who I am when I am alone.
I sing out load in the car.
I take lots of picture of myself in my room.
I admire myself in the mirror.
I am independent in my own way.
I dance while I'm listening to music.
I laugh out load when I see something funny on TV.
I write diary. I write and I write.
I type my thoughts.
I am engaged to my laptop while I'm writing.
I love my notebook, my pen and my laptop.

I imagine one day, I'll have sometime not to care about other things except me, doing nothing except relaxing, reading books and writing as many things as I possibly can. That day maybe the day I already retired and all I need to do just enjoy the me-time. Give myself a little bit appreciation after the hard work I've been done and say: "I did a great job. Well done. This is the treat."

Be yourself sometimes seems fool for others. Let it out because you'll never know what's gonna happen if you don't even try. Something have been held me back for so long and now I can't take it anymore. You like it take it, you don't like it, drop it. That's easy. Easy to say and hard to do, I'm still trying but thanks to all my friends who accept me the way I am. They teach me and I learn from them. It has changed me for good. It's okay to embarrassed yourself, you'll learn, you'll have fun. Life is about making mistakes. Make as many mistakes as you can while you can. We're learning by doing, from that we're growing.

#embrace yourself to the max

-vc-

Fresh Start

The new year is coming soon. Everyone prepare for the future. Plan everything they can for the upcoming year. They say: "New Year, New Me!" They're also claiming for the fresh start.

New year is like a second chance for everyone to start all over again. As they were trying so hard this year, it might not be enough for them. They want to be better which is good. They start making resolution, target everything. Some of them realistic, some of them are dreams, but they are making it all optimistically.

I have dreams, I wrote it down, it's like five years planning after I graduated from uni. It has been two years after I finished uni. I don't know where I put the note but I still remember some of them in my mind. Have I accomplished any of those dreams? NO. Unfortunately not. I never made any resolution again after that. I'm afraid I let myself down, I can't do any of those and at the end it will just make me disappointed to myself. I fear myself.

My life might not run as I planned. I'm lost in my own life. You will be able to make a target because you know where to go. I lost it. I think I have to trash back my dreams, where I wanted to go in the first place. I need to make resolution, I do need it. My guidance to face the new year so I have path and walk on it. It's never too late to start anything, there will always a first time in everything. You might stop doing it but there will always be a turning point when you start it again. Let's the adventure of chasing the dreams begins. Let's face the fear!

#fresh 2012

-vc-

For Good

Im limited 
Just look at me 
Im limited 
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda 
So now it's up to you 
For both of us - now it's up to you...
 
I've heard it said 
That people come into our lives for a reason 
Bringing something we must learn 
And we are led to those who help us most to grow 
If we let them and we help them in return 
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true 
But I know I'm who I am today 
Because I knew you...
 
Like a comet pulled from orbit 
As it passes a sun like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood 
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? 
But because I knew you I have been changed for good 


It well may be 
That we will never meet again 
In this lifetime 
So let me say before we part 
So much of me is made from what I learned from you 
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart 
And now whatever way our stories end 
I know you have re-written mine 
By being my friend...
 
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea 
Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood 
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good 

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness  
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know  
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore


#because I knew you, I have been changed for good


-vc-

Gloomy Christmas Eve? Checked!

When everything is all about recognition. I have this, I have that, I have everything. What do you want from showing that? Recognition? Really? Something better than recognition for sure. Everyone has their own judgement. They have their own values. They have their own thought. You can not please everyone. You can not satisfy everyone. But you can please and satisfy yourself. At least your own self.

Yes, we live in this world. We have to consider others but we don't have a responsibility to make them understand us. This is our life, our shot. Be happy while you can. Be merry as long as you don't hurt anyone. They don't care when we're f*cked up, why do they care when we're happy? Because they're jealous. So live your life, make them jealous even more.

We get the pain, the judgement all the time, so please for once, give yourself a break. Let it be. Sometimes we need to learn in a hard way to make us strong. Strong enough to face the storm of judgement from other people. As long as you enjoy your life, happy with yourself and grateful with what you've got, you live your life!

Just broke up? It's painful but this is it, the time that open you eyes to see the truth, it's ugly but that's the truth. Get a new one! People say it's rebound, please ignore them. This is your time for being single and very happy! Party hard! On the party, some guys are flirting with you, be proud and confident. Go for it if you like it, "but they might think I'm a b*tch". Just forget them, they can not see their own flaws.

So in this happy moment, just be happy! We can not ask them to stop judging but we can let our self out there and be what we wanna to be. I just wanna say "Merry Christmas, everyone!" This year has been a long journey, let's wrap it up with joy and start the new upcoming year with smile and say "I did it! So New Year? Bring it on!" Last but not least:
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
There will always a brighter tomorrow.

#wishing everyone the best

-vc-

Random!

Thank God, I have friends who always remind me to write. I am not sure if they are "fans" or they just wanna know what I am thinking and what I've been through. So, it has been more than a month since the last time I wrote something. And it's DECEMBER already. I think I should do some recaps from this year and start making my resolution for next year.

This year has been so amazing, I can not believe I've spent my second year in Brisbane, Australia. And I can say that this year is a year of traveling. I started this year with a road trip to Sydney. Then I went to Melbourne on May, can not just stop there, I can't help myself for being home sick so I went back home to Indonesia on August but I traveled around as well, to Bali, Singapore and Malaysia. Then on November I went to Fiji. What a year! Can not wait to start another Eat Play Love trip next year.

I've been through a lot so I pamper myself with this happiness. But, these trips heal me somehow. I can say this year wasn't that bad after all. And it's December now, month of happiness. What can you expect more? Be merry! Be happy! Hope this year was good enough for all of us, if it wasn't, don't worry! We still have 2012 as our second chance to fix everything. I do get a second chance in 2012, so do you. As I think about this year, the only thing that I can do is being grateful. I keep complaining about my life but basically the important thing is how you twist your "bad" life into something powerful and meaningful. Like what this quote says:
"Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well"
It doesn't matter good or bad cards you're holding, what does matter is how you play it well.

#power of waiting

-vc-