Sorry, Love!

The holiday is over, time to get back to the real life!
I try so hard to enjoy working yet i haven't got the feeling back to be workaholic. I still can feel the strong feeling of shopaholic and party lover inside. I need to get back to be a workaholic! As usual use work as a distraction. Or have I found new distraction?

So what happen in my trip? NOTHING! And I am a liar for saying that! Everything happened! I found myself back, I am speechless! Big thanks to everyone involved! Amazing people who has been involved in a way of bringing myself back into life. When i say everyone means everyone who met me in my trip.

Senior high friends! You wouldn't believe how sucks my life is but meeting you guys made me realize how precious my life is because I have you all. The way you show your love, the feeling that i couldn't feel lately. You've opened my eyes that there is love in this world! <3

Speaking about love, something that I never know for real or for sure before. When someone talk about unconditional love, we all agree that only God who has that for His creatures. But someone reminds me of that love. He has been tortured and has seen everything bad inside and out yet he stays there, feels all the pain, accepts everything bad that could ever happen. What are you?

I am such a selfish, mean and ungrateful b*tch and you still see me as a beautiful gorgeous girl without flaw in your eyes. I am amazed by your love but I have to be strict. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to ruin someone's life. Please give me a chance to do something right in my life and I think this is right enough. Thank you for loving me but I am sorry, I can't. I have to make it clear.

It's enough for me using you for this whole time. It's enough, you need to go back on track, live your own life without me. You can do it before and I am pretty sure you can do it now. I don't want to put you in this kind of situation, you are free! I enjoy the attention you gave me but it's not fair for you. You have to live for your own sake. Thank you but again, sorry, Love.

-vc-

EAT PLAY LOVE

Finally got my trip done! Actually i am in the middle of it.  My own EAT PLAY LOVE!
After "torturing" myself with glorious food in my city JAKARTA, i feel so happy! Finally i can eat everything i've been missed for almost two years! Street food, hell yeah! I made food list and couple more foods left, way to go!

Next part is PLAY! I went to beautiful island, The Island of Thousands Gods, BALI. Being wild and crazy. Doing things i haven't done before is awesome! But i think i messed up my destination because you don't play in Bali, you do love in Bali. Guess what? You can't swap part here, is love indeed in Bali. So? As strong as i try to avoid love part, i guess i can't. As strong as i try to avoid my past, at the end it will haunt me. Feel so loved, deeply by someone but then i can't do anything. This is complicated. Can i skip the love part? Can i just have eat and play part? I guess i can't, can i?

"How can you stand on two boats without falling?"
Well, you can't! You will fall to the water eventually. You might think you can love two people on a same time, you can't! The portion will be different, you will love one more than the other, you can't divide your heart equally. At the end you have to choose! Then choose wisely!

"Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person you want the most is the person you're best without."
Then once again, choose wisely. You'll break someone's heart, but is it worth it? Is it worth the pain?

Last but not least:
"Choosing to be single isn't selfish, it's just smarter to be alone than with the WRONG person."
Well, i guess that's me! I am enjoying my trip at the moment. Being alone in SINGAPORE where i can shop til drop. I do need retail therapy rather than love therapy! <3 Sorry, LOVE, not now!

#selfishness
-vc-