Roots Before Branches

D*mn, it's hard. I didn't think that it could be this hard. I did this three years ago and I'm doing it now all over again. It's suppose to be easy right? I've done it. Well, it's not.

People say something happen for a reason, makes me wonder. What is the reason I always move, leave people I love, separate from people I care? I haven't got the answer yet. I'm running my life, keep trying to stay strong, keep going, keep moving. At least I'm trying and every time I feel like quitting, there will always voices around me saying "Don't give up". One more thing my close friend always reminds me "Be grateful".

My close friends say I'm strong. Well, even a hero can bleed. The situation won't get any better and I've been pushed to be stronger. I'm not okay but I have to be okay. I'll be alright.

So many things to do and say
But I can't seem to find my way
But I wanna know how
I know I'm meant for something else
But first I gotta find myself
But I don't know how

Oh, why do I reach for the stars
When I don't have wings to carry me that far?

I gotta have roots before branches
To know who I am before I know who I wanna be
And faith to take chances
To live like I see a place in this world for me

Sometimes I don't wanna feel and forget the pain is real
Put my head in the clouds
Oh, start to run and then I fall
Seeing I can't get it all without my feet on the ground

There's always a seed before there's a rose
The more that it rains, the more I will grow

Whatever comes I know how to take it
Learn to be strong I won't have to fake it
Oh, you're understanding

Oh, but when you come and do it best
There ain't nothing to stopping east to west 

(I'm not sure if this is right)
But I'll still be standing
I'll be standing

#standstrong

-vc-

To Whom It May Concern

Brand new life has begun. I’ve been here (in this new place) for 7 days now. A week wasn’t that long but long enough to make you feel homesick. I was confused with term “home” before but now I realize home isn’t mattered of place, it’s about your heart, where your heart belongs, that’s home for me now. It doesn’t matter how many home I have, what does matter is how I maintain my home.

I’ve been in Australia for almost 3 years, I never think that I’ve done something there. Well, at least for some of my closest friends, I am something. I was surprised and amazed with what they’ve done to me. First, the surprise party, thanks to everyone who has involved to make it happened. I’m shocked, can’t believe that they will do things like that to me. Like I said before “I’ve been surrounded with awesome people in Australia and I’m beyond blessed. Thanks, everyone.”

The other thing is the scrap book that is "Made with love". I can feel how much they love and care about me from that book. I appreciate it, it’s very thoughtful. I read the book on the plane and I couldn’t stop crying since the first page until the last one. And it’s not only the book but also the card I got. It’s not only about the presents, I do love the gifts but it’s more about the existence of me in their life and them in my life. I don’t really know what they really think about me before but after I read the book, again I’m amazed. It contains not only best wishes and prayer but also little thing that made me speechless.

And now that I’m far away from home, I feel so close, because my home will always be here with me, in my heart.

This blog I dedicated to:

• Aarti Shah, thank you very much for the book, soulmate! Thank you very much for everything. You’re my pillar too!
•  Reza Piri, thank you for pushing me through all this and the sheltering angel. Please take care of Miss. Shah.
• Jelena Pelena, please come and visit me here with all the monkeys. :) I’m waiting! And can you add me on Skype please? :D
• Meera Shah, at least that I left the country you came to bring fresh air to the town. Have a great life there. Don’t get contaminated with the monkeys, ok? :p
• Rebecca Graham, Jason Graham and Samantha Graham, thank you very much for making my farewell party the awesomenest! You guys rule! Please keep in touch with me, B. xoxo V
• Raisa Voight or Sugandi, can’t believe I met you again through continent, we’ll meet again somehow, so prepare yourself, Junior! You’re gonna be my b*tch! :p
• Judilyn Bauer, thank you for being amazing friend.:)
• Tung Dung Mai, Mr. Confused please confuse people around you, it’s fun to have you around.:)
• Hussain Jaroodi, baggara! Good luck with everything. Come with Ahmed to NZ. :p Moha should come as well. :p thanks for good memories, guys!
• Justin Batten, thank you for the good times we’ve spent together. :) It’s gonna be unforgettable memories.
• Ray and Ifvan, thanks for coming, guys. :) You guys made my night.
• Will Sit, I hope you’re having great life there without me. :p Be the best prosecutor in town, ok?
• Sebastian Looney, have you find your new partner in crime? :p
• Irvin Ou, your note made me cried even more on the plane. :) have a great life, Irvin, all the best for you too. :)
• Charlene and Sabrina, thank you, girls!
• Sarah Lo, B*TCH!!! Thank you for meeting me that night, at least for once, we party together. Love you, B*tch! Xxx
• Annie and Jenny, my trainer at Subway. Thanks for training me really well. You guys the best trainers!

I’m so sorry I might miss some people, don’t get offended. All of my friends around the world make me who I am today, you’ll always be a part of me. Thank you for everything. Even words sometimes can not describe how grateful I am for having all of you as my friends. :)

Have a great life wherever you are, people! <3
Xxx
-vc-